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13 Reasons for Dating an Insurance Agent

November 15th, 2017Posted by Aaron in fun, random, insurance

If you’ve never done an internet search for the sexiest careers, you’re in for a shock: Selling insurance is glaringly absent.

Women, according to the latest surveys, drool over pilots, firefighters, professional athletes and deliverymen. Men make fools of themselves over physical therapists, interior designers, real estate agents and anyone who can cook. Oddly, both sexes enthusiastically approve of TV meteorologists.

These results must surely be skewed.

Whether you’re flirting with the idea of a harmless fling or desperately seeking the love of your life, don’t overlook insurance agents. Here are 13 good reasons to date one:

 

1. They make significant others feel needed.

Insurance agents can persuade healthy businessmen to get medevac coverage for overnight trips to Ottawa. And, flood policies are on the rise in Denver thanks to insurance agents.

If agents can show the need for all kinds of coverage, they can make you feel needed too. 

 

2. They’re protective.

Cars get totaled. Diamond rings get stolen. Houses get flattened by tornadoes. When it comes to protecting assets, agents never stop warning their customers to prepare for worst-case scenarios. If they will go to any length to protect clients’ interests, they will surely stop at nothing to protect you. From sharing an umbrella to explaining why you shouldn’t wear a long scarf in a go-kart, your agent will make you feel valued and safe.

 

3. They’re not afraid to talk about the future.

Insurance agents are possibly the most forward-thinking individuals on earth. They mull over the future and its myriad possibilities all day long. Forecasting, surmising, predicting and prognosticating are their favorite pastimes.

At that point in the relationship when you awkwardly suggest, “Let’s talk about the future,” your lover will answer, “Sure!” with enthusiasm, confidence and aplomb. 

 

4. They’re the life of the cocktail party.

People who make cold calls must be creative and engaging. Agents are great at cold calls. Leading questions are their forte, and probing for personal details comes naturally to them. They make good use of these talents on weekends as well. 

Show off an agent at your next office event or happy hour with friends. You’ll witness a smooth conversationalist in action.

 

5. They don’t need personal space.

Their cramped, windowless workplaces are evidence of this. Jockeying for the corner office wastes valuable time that would be better spent in pursuit of clients. Who needs a spacious office when they could be in a private home discussing policies over pie and coffee?

These spartan tendencies carry over to agents’ personal lives as well. They never whine about needing more space.

 

6. They’re eager to meet your friends and family.

Agents thrive on meeting new people. They never pass up opportunities to make new contacts.

Don’t be surprised if your agent asks to tag along to your nephew’s bar mitzvah or your best friend’s poetry reading. Your new love interest might even volunteer to drive your senior relatives on a group tour of national monuments.

 

7. They communicate and follow through.

Clients are never disappointed by their agent’s inaccessibility or lack of communication, and you won’t be either.

During your courtship, you can expect frequent phone calls, timely texts and informative emails.

 

8. They never complain about their exes or go on and on about former relationships.

The reason for this is simple. Since their natural charisma has only recently come to light, most insurance agents have never had a date, much less been in a relationship. They’re a little like the suddenly attractive nerds who show up at the high school reunion. No one ever noticed the uncanny resemblance to Bradley Cooper or Penelope Cruz. 

You might think of insurance agents as well-kept secrets, diamonds in the rough or puppies that crave attention. This is all new to them, so there’s no baggage. They’re not bitter. They’re not jaded. They haven’t been jilted. 

Snag one before word gets around.

 

9. They can carry on an intelligent conversation.

Insurance agents never stop learning. They are extremely well-read and wouldn’t think of missing the new page-turner on insurance marketing. On a rainy Sunday afternoon, you might find one comparing insurance websites, boning up on life expectancies by state or trying to get a better grasp of the Affordable Care Act.

 

10. They can explain the Affordable Care Act.

 

 

11. They travel the world.

Witness the sunset from a swaying hammock in Maui. Learn to speak Spanish while in Mexico. Snap a selfie with a koala Down Under..

Exotic experiences like these can be yours. Thrilling incentive trips are just part of the prestigious, jet-setting lifestyle of an insurance agent.

 

12. They hate drama.

Hurricanes, earthquakes, floods, hailstorms, untimely heart attacks, burglaries, murders for hire, car accidents, black mold, salmonella outbreaks in restaurants, slippery floors in public places and bee-related allergic reactions are even more repugnant to insurance agents than they are to normal human beings. 

The more boring life is, the happier the agent. You can expect calm seas throughout the relationship.

 

13. They age well and they live long lives.

Agents see the results of reckless living every day. They know how long a smoker, heavy drinker, or free-solo rock climber is likely to be around.

Therefore, agents take care of themselves. They eat well, drink in moderation and stay hydrated. After verifying that a gym has passed health and safety inspections with flying colors, they get plenty of exercise. 

The very idea of taking risks is odious to them. Let foolhardy friends cycle through a nature preserve or take tai chi classes. Agents play it safe. They’re amply entertained watching suspenseful insurance-related movies, such as “The Rainmaker,” or jotting down ideas for more effective insurance marketing.

Thanks to clean living, insurance agents are great-looking. In short, insurance agents are hot.

How do you meet an insurance agent? You could always move to a state that’s prone to natural disasters, but make it easy on yourself. Skip the dating apps. Start surfing insurance websites.